18th March 2020

An online journal by a girl inside…

I can’t remember when this all began but I know it happened fast. There are many fears floating around and so much is going on, it’s hard to feel okay. I am doing as much “social distancing” as I can and making sure I look after myself completely. I maybe “stuck alone” but I am BLESSED to have the green just seconds away from my flat, and shops and all sorts around me. I am blessed here. Still, the fear factor is horrible, I should not go on FB anymore and tbh, Instagram too – it’s just lonely without it right?

Here are some things I wish..

1. I wish Covid-19 didn’t exist
2. I wish I would just go away
3. I wish I didn’t suffer with anxiety
4. I wish I could focus on the positives all the time instead of worrying about the negatives

Here are some things that came to mind whilst writing those..

1. God will never leave me, He will never forsake me
2. I can do things to protect myself in general
3. I’m going to read a book that was recommended to me called The Way of The Peaceful Warrior.
4. Nothing is ever has horrid as it seems in my mind.

This is day one of me journaling my thoughts and feelings regarding this virus and I will continue to get thoughts down.

Stay Blessed,

Dest x

Bye, Sorry Girl #byesadgirl

This post was inspired by the artist Hollyn –  & her newly released project – Bye, Sad Girl.

We have all heard it..”Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself!”
This is a story of a girl who knew no better than to pity herself, in light of all the seemingly unfortunate circumstances that came her way. She would once get sad & anxious, more times in a month than she wanted to, & crying was part of her routine. It was only on “good days” that she might NOT have spilt her mind out onto her yellowed journal pages; other times, she just couldn’t put the pen down. With God to complain to & her boyfriend to listen to her pitiful monologues, her world was getting dark.

This girl was me. I thank God for the past tense, because it was about to get INtense if i hadn’t already! Along the spiral of pity, there is selfishness, anxiety, loneliness, guilt, false guilt and depression. Here are are 5 things that helped me in this season, and still now…

Education
Friendship
Counsel
Prayer
Meditation

I was lead to a place where I could detach myself from “sorry girl”, no longer my destiny, no longer me. Although a continuing journey, when I am tempted to take sorry girl’s hand, I can refuse in strength and victory.

Hearing the story behind Hollyn’s Bye Sad Girl project, I was instantly liberated! I know we are all, in some way, suffering darkness in what we often forget is a spiritual battle too! I was encouraged by the song and it’s message of finally letting go of the comforting choking we are all too familiar with.

I encourage you to start your journey of saying goodbye ______ girl/guy.

I encourage you to be free.

 

Dear ‘France’|Travel Journals

Location: Nice, France

 

Monday 28th August 2018 – Bank Holiday Getaway

Dear France,
You’ve been lovely. I just wish id known how to speak your language more, but it’s never too late to learn. I’ve been so drawn to your tongue for the longest and i’m not quite sure why. You sound so beautiful and I hope to one day understand the language in a conversation at least!

(downloads Duolingo on phone)

 

 

On the flight home today my mind is quite eager to write this. As I observe people and create small talk with strangers, I begin to see how big the world is in comparison to the small-town-girl life I started out with.

 

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Processed with VSCO with m5 preset

I know I say this after every trip but seriously, i’ve never been more motivated to live each moment and seize every opportunity like I have done on this trip. It’s amazing and inspiring, seeing people on this plane with their instruments (some cool orchestra trip went on over the bank holiday). Its fun making connections with people in the industry and having them call you when you get back to England (more about that later perhaps).

 

I feel like this is what im here to do. Meet people, hear stories, share stories and create stories. One thing though, I must tell myself, quite possibly every day I wake up;

just remember that this is absolutely nobody else’s journey but your own. Nobody else can share your gift like you can. It’s all you now girl, do you now. If you think to compare yourself, think again, even in the smallest of things.

Thank you France, for being part of this self realisation.

Until the next time,

Au Revoir Mon Amour x

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